My own measuring stick

We have a tendency to think that what we’re good at is intrinsically more important or valuable than things others are good at. This alienates the very ones who would be the most help to us (and us to them).

We don’t consciously compare the skill sets’ relative values; we judge people on the axis of performance we know best (the axis that we are good at). We hold them up to a measuring stick and find they fall short, not realizing that this measuring stick is one we’ve artificially constructed to give us every advantage.

With maturity and humility we can learn to see the other measuring sticks, and see people shine in their own natural strengths.

Can you think of people in your regular interactions who are good at things you’re not? When is the last time you gave someone like that some “hearty approbation and lavish praise?”

(Bonus: if you do express this appreciation to someone, make it all about them, not about you. Leave out any contrasts, even favorable. “You’re so much better than me at x,” is not coming from the right heart. “You provide x in a unique and valuable way to our team,” is better.)

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